The Last Year In Speed Review
It was a year ago today that I was sitting in the hospital
here in West Plains and wondering if I would ever leave it. Everything had been
completely normal the days before going into the hospital, and as a matter of
fact I had spent the previous three days shoveling our very long drive way
which had gotten over a foot of snow – and yes, I was 27 weeks pregnant. I
KNOW, I KNOW what you’re thinking – that’s crazy – and it may have been but I
have actually done crazier things during pregnancy. I moved to Peru at 30 weeks
pregnant with Hudson, and moved back to the US when I was about 7 weeks
pregnant with Taylor. You would think the move back to the US would have made
things easier and actually it may have just saved my life.
We left Peru in October of 2014 to come back to the States.
We came back early from our “to be” three year commitment which actually only
ended up being a year and half sadly. It
was an emotionally, physically and spiritually tough time on us. Our kids were
sick – but not just sick – really sick. Everyone has been asking and it has
taken me this long to answer, ridiculous, I know. We went through a battery of
tests to figure out why our youngest two kids seemed to be wasting away before
our eyes. From the minute we got back home we spent the next month off and on
at the Children’s hospital in Denver. For over two months our 16 month old completely
stopped eating solid foods. Our kids looked sickly and pale when we returned.
Hudson christened quite a few rooms in my in-laws house with vomit. He had been
throwing up for two months. I remember buying our tickets in August to leave
Peru in October and it just couldn’t have come any sooner. We were wrestling
with getting visa stuff through and just couldn’t leave any quicker even though
my heart wanted to for my children. What was even more frustrating was not
being able to find out what was wrong with them when we got back. The doctor we
were working with was great, and had been following our case closely. He
believed we were probably dealing with something environmental and he actually
recommended we come back from a medical stand point because our kids had fallen
so far under the growth curve that they were not on it anymore and he believed
it would take a year or more for them to start to return back to normal. Little
did we know how accurate he had been with that assessment. They found all kinds of inflammation in the
kids’ intestines. They did blood tests, genetics testing, endoscopies – you name
it- we probably did it. Only to find no direct cause and my youngest was still
throwing up everywhere, and not eating solids. Only time would tell.
We found out we were pregnant with Taylor about a month or
so before we left. I was excited – excited to be back where I could have access
to all kinds of yummy “craving” foods. Not once did it cross my mind that this
pregnancy would be my hardest – I mean I did deliver one baby in Peru, and how
could you top that story. Things started going awry though in the midst of
getting all the testing done on the kids. We were SO spent. So emotionally,
physically and spiritually just drained, and then I started bleeding. I cannot
describe what kind of crazy thoughts went through my mind at that point. We thought we were losing the baby. I could
not believe that we had moved countries, changed up our entire life to follow
what we clearly knew God wanted us to do and then this. This was probably an all-time
low for me. More cramping, more bleeding
and NONE of this had happened with any of my other pregnancies. The timing
could not have been worse. We were still living with family and on top of that
we had the director of the hospital from Peru actually visiting to do some
fundraising and everyone had to know what was going on (this is just not
something you feel like announcing to the world especially as it is happening).
All I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and sink down into a hole. True
story. That’s the closest we have ever
come to losing a child – and those emotions were raw, painful and terribly
real.
In the middle of ALL that- trying to figure out what was
going on with our kids and possibly losing Taylor we were trying to figure out
just where God wanted us in the States – and again this was another emotionally
exhausting decision. Stay in CO with family or move back to MO? Tough. We were
driving back and forth from CO to MO to look at what they had to offer – which was
totally MISERABLE. I wish I would say I was one of those cute, bubbly, pregnant
women who never ever got morning sickness, but if I told you that I would be
doing an injustice to my husband who extends loads of grace to me during
pregnancy. I felt like I was going to lose my stomach every five minutes on
those 12 hour car rides to MO and absolutely nothing made it better. With all
the other pregnancies I had had trouble with UTIs and actually had one when we
returned, but of course that did not seem like a big deal then – BUT it would
be later. I was measuring really big, which isn’t totally abnormal for having
three going on four kids, but John was worried and I could see it in his face. I
was still sick which was a good sign, pregnancy-wise, and in-between trips we
got an ultrasound to find out what was going on with Taylor. It was such a relief to see that ultrasound
and that little baby bouncing around. No twins, and everything looked okay. So
strange.
On Thanksgiving Hudson ate three grapes – and we were going
around telling every family member how excited we were that he ate three grapes.
It was the first solid food he’d eaten in months! Poor guy was so
miserable. Hannah was feeling terrible
too and originally that is why we came back the first time in May of 2014, but
before we left Hudson’s health took a drastic turn.
December came. I was still pregnant, which was exciting and
nerve racking all at the same time. We felt we were being called to MO and not
CO which was incredibly difficult. We packed up our things at the end of
December and moved one snowy day to our home here in MO. We had no family
living here and just a couple of friends. John and I have never backed down to
adventure but this was going to get interesting.
It was a year ago today that I woke up to a terrible pain on
my left side. I knew immediately that something was terribly wrong. Never once
had anything like this happened with the other pregnancies and I tried not to
let my mind wonder to the possibilities – which wasn’t too hard because I was
in an incredible amount of pain. I literally could not get out of bed – I tried
and fell to the floor. Immediately I called John because I thought I would have
to get an ambulance. He raced home, got the kids in the car, and we raced to
the hospital. Tests confirmed I had a
kidney stone – no big deal right? –WRONG. Having had two kidney stones now I
can confirm I would rather go through childbirth ten more times. The good news
was that it was only a kidney stone and Taylor looked great on the monitor.
They gave me a bunch of pain medication, but I was running a really high fever
as well so they sent off some blood cultures and started antibiotics. As the
night wore on, still waiting for the stone to pass, I started to feel funny.
The pain medications had helped quite a bit but my whole body started going
numb, and of course this happened during the 20 minutes John had to leave my
side to drop off clothes for the kids. I started having trouble breathing and
even talking. My face looked like I had had a stroke. I was having an allergic
reaction to one of the many pain meds I was on. I can now say I have
experienced epinephrine via IV, not just the EPI pen, and let me tell you –
that is an experience I will never forget. Turns out I was having an allergic
reaction to a pain pill that continued to dilute in my body throughout the
night which led to more epinephrine throughout the night. It was super fun –
SUPER fun. I then started to have contractions, probably put on by just plain
stress, which complicated things. Over the next couple of days I ran a very
high fever with chills like I had never experienced, and we discovered that my
body was going septic - I had infection in my blood but from what? We had to
get a CT done to discover I had an abscess in my kidney. The UTI I had had in
October apparently was not taken care of by the antibiotics I had been given in
CO and eventually festered into an infection in my blood, developing into an
abscess on my kidney. I can remember
being in the hospital barely being able to move from sheer exhaustion. I
eventually left the hospital after a week, but had to be on IV antibiotics due
to having an infection that was resistant to nearly every antibiotic tested –
that part was so tough. I took IV antibiotics every 6 hours for 6 weeks before
I delivered Taylor and another 4 weeks after I delivered her. I returned home
but couldn’t do anything – I could not even change a diaper. I could not administer
my own antibiotics. I could not even walk to my own kitchen without feeling
like I had just run a 400m dash, huffing and puffing. We were so blessed to
have my sister-in-law and her mother come and take care of the kids for a few
weeks (who dropped everything to come and help when I went into the hospital)
and then my mom and my dad (who stayed for another 5 weeks). We could not have
made it without the friends and family who brought by food, took the kids for
the weekend, and offered to come by and run my antibiotics. We had only been
attending church for about a month and still so many people reached out to help
us.
We spent the next days and weeks monitoring the abscess on
my kidney. We had to go to Springfield to consult an infectious disease doctor.
Some docs wanted to drain the abscess and some didn’t, but I was pregnant so
that complicated everything. In the end they decided to do IV antibiotics until
the abscess went away or until after I delivered Taylor for safety reasons. You
cannot really do IV antibiotics for very long before your veins just cannot
handle the poking so eventually I had to have a picc line put in my arm which
was easier to use but painful and it really freaked people out because it was
visible.
The rest of my pregnancy was rough. I failed my glucose test
the first time and had to do the 3 hour test and barely passed that one. I started
to develop preeclampsia, with high blood pressure and I started seeing spots.
We had a healthy baby girl born May23rd, the day after Caleb’s
birthday. What an answer to so many prayers. Despite a septic blood infection,
an allergic reaction and a kidney stone and abscess, we had a healthy baby
girl. We are still so grateful. God is good.
Four days after I delivered Taylor, I went into the hospital
for another week with another septic blood infection and kidney stone #2. We spent our anniversary in the hospital
running a 104 degree fever. So this was
a part of our vows 7 years before “in sickness and in health”.
I am finally feeling normal again. No picc line in my arm. I
can do my own laundry, play with our kids and make my own dinner. I am so
incredibly grateful to have experienced another year. I did not deserve it but
God is good. His timing is perfect. We came home from Peru 18 months ago
because our kids were sick but little did we know what was in store for me and
for Taylor.
Our kids are doing so much better. At about the one year
mark we noticed the kids have started growing again. With confidence we can say
they are actually gaining weight. If you have met either of us, you know our
kids will never be big people, but they are growing and for that we are
grateful. So what was the cause of the
kids’ illness? We still don’t know for sure, but months after we left we read
an article about dangerously high levels of arsenic and E. coli in the water in
Arequipa – the same city we had done language school in Peru for 9 months. We
will never know what happened or why, but we know that God always has us in his
hands.
We want to say a special thanks to everyone who has helped
us this past year. We are so grateful for your sacrifice and friendship. We also want to thank our Lord Jesus for
carrying us through all of the good times and all of the difficult times. We
can do nothing without Him and through every experience come to know that we
can trust Him, even if we may not understand it during the trials that come.