An Update on our Little Princess

We have been sparse with sharing our information on what is going on with Hannah mainly because we just do not know exactly what is going on with Hannah. We started running a myriad of tests on her in October but we still do not have any concrete answers. We ran a bunch of tests here at Diospi last week and we are currently consulting with a German Pediatrician here to plan our next move. We have done blood tests, urine tests, stool tests, and ultrasounds. At this point I cannot tell you much but it looks like we are not dealing with Leukemia types of cancer, celiac, heart problems, or kidney problems. We will continue stool sampling this week and will go in for an x-ray and abdominal ultrasound as well.  Her stool samples both here and in Arequipa show she has white blood cells in her stool but no blood. Unfortunately, her blood tests are also consistently showing elevated platelets at 750 with normal being under 400 I believe. Hannah is ranking in at less than the 3^rd percentile for weight and actually they cannot measure below the 3^rd percentile so we really do not know where she fits on the charts. Charts are not all that important since John and I are small people but we noticed a huge dive in her weight after she started on solid foods. Her height has also started to drop off and her head circumference remains okay right now which we are grateful for as developmentally she seems fine. That girl is super smart, and quite frankly she has a hilarious little personality. More concerning than the lack of being on the “charts” is her night sweats. She consistently wakes up from naps and nights with her pillow soaked within a 10-15 inch radius. Having cancer on my side of the family, this symptom kinda makes my skin crawl. It’s also really hard to look at Hannah and then look at Hudson because right now they could be wearing the same clothes – that is if I really wanted to dress Hudson in pink. I am sure Hudson is passing her in weight but in all honesty I have not checked lately because I really do not want to know. She is still wearing the same clothes that we came to Peru in almost a year ago next month.

This is hard on the heart especially being so far away from home.  I think we both feel a little helpless. Especially John is he is the doctor – who can heal everything, right? – WRONG. This is a constant reminder to us that God is our healer and ultimately he is in charge. I have started asking myself questions that make me a little sick. What if this time next year Hannah is not with us (and I might be being incredibly rash here) but what if that is true? Would I be okay with it? Would I be bitter about being here in Peru and not being able to find the answers? Would I be angry with God that we have come all the way to Peru only to have God not show up in some miraculous way? Really, when I think about these things my heart aches, but my answer is no. No, I would not be bitter or angry because I know that my children were given to me. They are a gift, and they are not really mine. I am grateful for all three of my gifts, and I would miss them terribly if they were taken away from me. I also know that God’s heart would break to watch me go through such a terrible ordeal, but I know that in this world there is sin and therefore our bodies do not always work as they should. I am not bitter about it; it just is what it is. My eyes tear up even now writing this as I watch her dancing around the house knowing that things are so unpredictable in life be it disease, car accidents, whatever it may be we only have so much time here in this world – and in life, disease and death our God will be exalted.  In all honesty, I am at peace with everything, whatever it is. I do not even worry about it anymore, as I know ultimately my worrying will not change anything (except how many gray hairs I have J ).

Currently, we think the tests we need to run are not available here and we are trying to get an appointment at Children’s Hospital in Denver which has proven quite difficult. We were planning on returning in August to visit family for the annual fantasy football draft, but with things being the way they are we are hoping to return earlier sometime in May if we can get an appointment at Children’s. We will see what the results from this week are, try to get an appointment at Children’s and then we will make the decision on whether John goes back with just Hannah for a while or whether we all go back for a short time to try and figure out what is going on with our little Hannita.

All this being said we would really appreciate your prayers this week. We really need to get an appointment at Children’s Hospital ASAP, and we would love to find some economical tickets so that we can all go back together. Right now the prices are not bad but the longer we wait to figure things out the tougher the details get. Pray also that Hannah continues to eat well. We have had a terrible time getting her to eat, and she really cannot afford to lose any weight.  As always thank you so much for your prayers and support!

A Few Months In Curahuasi

No I have not died – although from the lack of communication you might have thought that I had. My lack of sleep and our lack of internet have put our blog on hold for a while. We are doing okay here in Curahuasi. We have been here for an entire month now. The kids and I have “settled” into the house and John started working at the hospital last week. His days are filled with interesting stories and many sad ones. Unfortunately a handful of people have passed away at the hospital over the last couple of weeks, including a newborn. John’s job is tough intellectually always having to translate in his mind from Spanish to English what is going on, learning the new meds that are available in the hospital (which are often not the same meds we use in the States), and just learning how to work with new people but none of these things are as tough as losing a patient. Medicine is tough on the heart. If only we had done this – If only they had come in sooner – If only we had had this type of equipment – horrible questions that plague the mind. The most terrifying question of all really is “Do they know their maker”? The only person in this entire world who can cure the most deadliest disease – sin. The hospital has a great system going and all the patients get to see the Jesus film while they are waiting for their appointment. Speaking of waiting- can you imagine waiting in line for days just to see a doctor? We would flip if we had to wait outside IN THE RAIN just to get an appointment the next day, and this is common practice here. Every day there is a line of about 150 people just waiting to be seen. I remember waiting for 3 hours once to see my OB in the States. I was a “little bit” frustrated,  but seeing the line everyday kinda puts that in perspective now.

John and I have moved  A LOT in our lives. My dad was in the military and John’s med school took him all over the place. Every time you move you find your “new normal” – your new normal food, your new normal routine – everything just settles into the new normal. John is working again – and is finding his new normal in his job. Which I think can be kind of dangerous. It is easy to develop a new routine, and really it becomes just like living in the States (minus lots of stuff). I cook, clean and watch the kids, and John works. It is so easy to just work a job and forget why we have really come. John has not come to just “see” patients but to show them Jesus. Not always as easy as it seems. John usually goes to work at 7:30 and returns between 6:00 and 6:30pm unless he is on call. He is usually exhausted from his day/night on shift, and then he walks 20 minutes each way home (and the hill up to the hospital is KILLER). John then watches the kids so I can finish up dinner.  We get the kids ready for bed. I spend the night making food for the next day/week, cleaning the dishes, and doing the laundry or just unpacking. The day is pretty much consumed for John and I. So what does ministry look like for John, or for me? Well we are trying to figure that out. Pray for us as we try to determine what things outside of the hospital/house that God wants us to be involved in.

Yesterday was the first day I made it out of the house with all three kids alone –quite the challenging task. I will not be doing that often, at the ages the kids are at now 3, 1, and 7 months. For me this means I pretty much stay in the house all day, every day. Thank goodness we have a small yard for the kids to play in, even so my life looks so different than it did in the States. It is tough not being able to get out of the house. By the time John gets of work and the kids are in bed nothing is even open here! I am finding that at least at this moment, my ministry will be my children and making sure that John can serve his best at the hospital. You would think that coming over to Peru would give me more time to spend with my family but sadly I spend most of my time in the kitchen cooking and cleaning. EVERYTHING is from scratch. You cannot even find a loaf of sliced bread here! I actually really enjoy cooking but all day, every day is tough.  For the first time in a month I could actually sit on my couch at least for a few hours until another load of laundry finished drying on the line and then ended up on my couch. The laundry and cleaning never end. Three kids three and under is physically/mentally exhausting – and I have not even mentioned bugs yet! Yes, bugs – they are EVERYWHERE! I found a LARGE centipede in the house the second week we were here but that was put into perspective the day Caleb found a black widow in his pale outside (and let’s not forget the scorpions we have found in the house including in Caleb’s toys). Yup, I think I was screaming- and by the time I got done with it, it was definitely dead. That prompted me to make some door snakes – long, thin bags of fabric filled with rice to put at the bottom of the door so the bugs cannot get in. This was a great idea until the rain came through the back door – soggy, rice, in a bag- not good. The ants are always in my kitchen even if I clean it every night. At this point I have given up and now I know we will never be bug free. However, after putting up the door snakes now in the middle of the night when I wake up to feed Hudson there is not a constant crackling under my feet of rollie pollies. There are still bugs in the house but less of them. You see if I am going camping I know that there are bugs but for a short time – there is an end in sight – no end in sight here. Roaches, flees, spiders, worms – you name it we probably have it (including black widows and a scorpion that I found in Caleb’s legos). Just kill ‘em.

On another note,  after two weeks of sanding, putting chemicals and varnish on all of our furniture it looks like we have not gotten rid of all the mold which is kind of a bummer since I appear to be allergic to it. Unfortunately, our dresser which is molding is still sitting in our room, because John has not had time to resand, rechemical, and revarnish it. Needless to say we are not having fun with this…

And a few weeks ago I found BEETLES in my beans!?! They were in a bag from the vendor in the market – no such thing as pre-packaged beans here. Oh America! How I miss your pre-packaged goodness! That morning I was going to pull my hair out at the sight of beetles in the beans – but I couldn’t pull my hair out because I cannot afford to lose any more of the brown ones!

 

** I have attached a few pics of the outside of our house. We are incredibly grateful to have this home - made of cement - not mud.**